Hello and welcome back to the Night Feed. Tonight, I'm talking co-sleeping at 4 months pregnant, night time dread and postpartum weight gain.
I'm also sharing my usual self-care suggestion and a calming quote to finish.
As always - thank you for your emails, keep them coming and I'll try to get through as many as I can on the podcast - thenightfeedpodcast@gmail.com.
Tonight’s unpaid sponsor is…being pregnant and sleeping next to two kids! Wowwww.
Toddler Sleep Regression
Well, I need your help this week. If there are any sleep experts listening or if you have been through this then I need your advice. Just to refresh any new listeners, I’m currently 17 weeks pregnant and I have an almost 4 year old and 2 and a half year old and at the moment, we’re all sharing a bed. Now because I breastfed, I naturally drifted into co-sleeping which I know a lot of us do or have done.
When my second was born, my eldest got into an amazing sleep routine, like the penny just dropped. In her own room she’d sleep through and have no issues at bedtime. My youngest has never really got into that. She goes down on me and then I transition her into the cot. Usually she wakes between 11 and 1 and gets in with us. She goes straight back to sleep and I’ve always been fine, getting my sleep rather than battling trying to get her back in the cot.
Now that my eldest is in a bed, she also joins us in the night, can be 1am can be 6am which obviously isn’t too bad. But at the moment I’m finding myself sandwiched between them on about a foot of bedspace. Which on the one hand is just lovely having them snuggled up, there’s something so wonderful about watching them wake and hodling them close.
On the other hand I’m getting booted in the face, pins and needles because I’m sleeping awkwardly and I am worried about my tummy being kicked. Plus when the baby arrives, having three in the bed will just be too chaotic! The baby will be in the next to me but still!
Does anyone have any advice? I just dont want it getting to when the baby arrives and being like right in your own room now! I know I need to do this gradually and like I say half of me loves having them in with us and I know it’s not going to be forever so yeah. If there’s anyone listening that’s been in a similar situation or if there are any sleep experts - please drop me an email - thenightfeedpodcast@gmail.com
I don’t know about you but I am well and truly in Christmas indulge mode. I’m sat recording this eating the majority of a Terry’s Chocolate orange. Piece by piece and I just keep telling myself wellll it’s christmas!
I’ve had a few emails this week which I’m going to come to now so first up...
Nighttime dread…
Hey,
I’ve just started listening to your podcasts and thought I’d write in about something I’ve experienced since being postpartum.
I’m 2.5months postpartum, my baby loves to co-sleep (I was convinced I didn’t want to but it’s the only way I can also get some sleep). He got really bad at sleeping in his next to me at about 6weeks old, turns out he was learning to smile- but since then putting in his next to me at night is almost impossible.
I am exclusively breast feeding and so my partner isn’t much help of a night although he doesn’t hear the baby wake anyway 🙈
We start to head to bed about 9pm so by 10 everyone can be fed, changed and hopefully asleep… unless he’s cluster feeding but that’s another story! But about 8pm each night I get this awful feeling of doom and dread about the night ahead. I just know that I’m probably going to get no more than 6 hours of broken sleep and that I’m going to be alone while doing everything.
Im wondering if anyone else experiences this and how I can help myself to feel better about night times?
Thank you!
You’re Not Alone Let’s Talk About Nighttime Postpartum Challenges
Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your experience—first of all, congratulations on your new baby! It’s clear how much love and dedication you’re pouring into this journey, and I hope you know you’re doing an amazing job.
What you’re describing—the mix of co-sleeping, cluster feeding, and that sense of dread about the night ahead—is something many postpartum parents experience. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s so brave of you to put it into words. Let’s break it down a bit and explore some ways to ease the tough moments:
1. The Evening Dread
That wave of “doom” you’re feeling around 8 p.m. is actually more common than you’d think. It’s called “sundown anxiety” in some circles, and it often happens because your body and mind know what’s coming: broken sleep, the nighttime workload, and a feeling of isolation.
Acknowledge the Feeling: It might help to name it when it happens—“This is my nighttime anxiety showing up again. I’ve felt this before, and I can get through it.”
Create a Soothing Evening Routine for Yourself: Even just 5–10 minutes of mindfulness, stretching, or deep breathing before you start the nighttime routine can make a difference.
2. Co-Sleeping Realities
You’re not alone in turning to co-sleeping as a way to make nights manageable—it’s such a practical choice for many breastfeeding parents. If it’s helping you get even a little more sleep, it’s okay to embrace it.
Safe Co-Sleeping Tips: Double-check your sleep setup for safety (e.g., a firm mattress, no loose bedding) so you can feel more at ease.
3. Shared Responsibilities
It’s true that breastfeeding makes you the primary nighttime parent, but there are still ways your partner can support you, even if he doesn’t hear the baby wake up.
Involve Him in Prep: Could he take on the bedtime routine prep (diaper changes, calming the baby) so you can have a small break before feeding?
Morning Respite: Maybe he could give you 30 minutes to yourself in the morning to sleep in or shower while he bonds with the baby.
4. Connection and Support
Postpartum life can feel isolating, but you’re part of a community now. Sharing your story is a great first step.
Reach Out: Are there local mom groups or online communities where you can connect with others going through similar experiences? Sometimes just knowing someone else “gets it” can ease that sense of being alone.
Talk to a Professional: If the feelings of dread are persistent or worsening, don’t hesitate to speak with a healthcare provider. Postpartum anxiety is common and treatable.
Remember, it won’t always be like this. Babies grow and change so quickly, and these sleepless nights will eventually shift into a new season. In the meantime, know that what you’re doing matters so much, and it’s okay to lean on others and seek help where you can.
Thank you again for reaching out—I’d love to hear how you’re doing and what strategies help you in the coming weeks. Sending you lots of encouragement and support!
My 4 month old baby still wakes 2-3 times during the night
Christmas is almost here and our family is meeting our almost 5 month old for the first time. Naturally, the first question everyone asks is “Is she sleeping through the night yet?” The answer? No. She’s still waking 2–3 times a night to feed (EBF).
It feels like we’re surrounded by a family (and extended family) of amazing sleepers, and I can’t help but feel a little discouraged.
Is it normal for an exclusively breast fed 5 month old to do this?
Thank you so much for sharing this! First, let me reassure you - yes, it’s completely normal for an exclusively breastfed 5-month-old to wake 2–3 times a night to feed. Every baby is different, and night wakings at this stage are still very common, especially for breastfed babies who may nurse for both nourishment and comfort.
It’s so easy to feel discouraged when surrounded by stories of “amazing sleepers,” but remember, sleep isn’t a competition, and your baby’s wake-ups are a normal part of their development. You’re doing an incredible job meeting your baby’s needs, even when it feels tough. Sending you lots of encouragement this holiday season - you’ve got this Mama!
Baby screen time recommendations
Screen time - yes I’m going there! For long time listeners, you know my opinion is everything in moderation. Do I need to clean, yes - whack a bit of Peppa Pig on. Do I need 5 minutes, yes - whack Cinderella on - Do I think kids should sit in front of a screen all day absolutely not but let’s be honest - we all need 5 minutes.
I came across this post with an answer I thought may interest you if screen time is a worry
Hello! New mom here.
I wanted to ask parents who have raised one child with no screen time at all and another with some screen exposure. I’m not talking about leaving the TV on all day, but more like situations where my husband and I are watching a movie in the living room while our baby is present, or occasionally taking a break to watch kids’ shows or nursery rhymes on YouTube together.
Have you noticed any differences between the two approaches? While I’d love to avoid screens entirely, I can’t realistically have the TV off all day—I really enjoy watching something while feeding my baby.
Baby is 4 months old and I noticed she perks up when she hears Ms. Rachel on tv. We usually have it on in the background while she’s doing tummy time or independent floor time.
ex toddler teacher (12-24mo) here!
Yes i can see the difference. some are more obvious than others (very obsessed with certain characters, lights up when a device is near) others not so much. the children who have screen time (which btw is major. lol. especially when they have older sibs) tend to be quick learners. they also tend to be more impulsive and need instant gratification. honestly, screen time is not going to dictate your child’s temperament entirely.
personally, i never had a problem using screen time as an aid. i am a sahm sometimes i need “me” time or have to tidy up a room/start on dinner without her interrupting. she gets plentyyyy of stimulation for her age and has various outlets for that.
don’t sit your child in front of tv and let it babysit them but don’t let the tv become a negative experience.
I teach 2 and 3 year olds, and have 5 kids of my own. With my students, I don't see a difference between the ones with no screen time and those with limits. Now, I do have one who pretty clearly has unlimited screen time and you can absolutely tell. At the beginning of the year, he would interact with supplies by swiping and tapping and couldn't understand why they wouldn't do anything.
As for my own children, we limit it, but I can tell when they've hit their limit because I see their creativity and imagination drop, and their irritability will skyrocket and then I'll declare a screen detox. I'm a firm believer in "there's a time and a place for screens", and when I limit screens, it makes them more effective when it is an appropriate time.
Self care suggestion
Do your Christmas shopping online. Jason took the girls on Sunday afternoon and I sat watching Titanic doing my Christmas shopping and let me tell you it was bliss. No dashing round the Trafford Centre like a headless chicken with hour long queues, traffic jams and just general chaos. No no, I had Jack, Rose and my laptop and chocolate obviously - Christmas indulge mode has been activated. Plus I find online I get exactly what I need rather than just randomly picking things up as I go. Sorry if that’s the most obvious advice ever, but you put those feet up, kick back and order online.
Finally to finish on a quote I wrote...
To the woman who holds me when I cry…
Hi, Mama. It’s me—your tiny little love. I’ve only been here a few days, weeks, or months, but already, I feel your love in every single thing you do.
I know you worry.I see it in your tired eyes at 3 a.m. when I won’t settle, no matter what you try.I hear it in the way your voice trembles when you say, “I don’t know what else to do.”But you need to know this: You are my entire world.
To me, you are perfect.When your hands shake trying to fasten my onesie, I just feel how safe I am in them.When you whisper, “I’m sorry, baby,” because you think you’ve done something wrong, all I hear is love.When you cry because it’s all too much—Mama, it’s okay. You’re still my safe place, my everything.
I don’t care if the house is messy or if dinner is cereal.I don’t care if you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.I care about how you hold me close and make me feel like I belong.
Mama, you’re doing it. You’re keeping me alive, loved, and warm in a world that’s brand new to me too. Every day, you wake up and give me your best, even when you feel like you have nothing left to give.
I know you can’t see it yet, but one day you will.One day, I’ll say “Mama” and light up when you walk into the room.One day, I’ll tell you that you’re my hero.One day, you’ll see that you’ve been my whole world since the moment I arrived.
So, to the woman who holds me when I cry:I love you more than words will ever say.You’re doing better than you think, Mama.
Love,Your baby ❤️
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